Disheartened...

I turned 25 years old in this past year, and I have experienced more ignorance, more nonacceptance, and more intolerance in this last year of my life than I ever have before.

What is with it?

My family raised me in a way to believe that there was nothing wrong with me, or anyone for being different. My mom taught me to stand up for myself, to be who I was, and to be proud that I was alive. She once told me "Do not let anyone get to you. I did not raise my son to stay under a rock." And internalized that message. I have believed for my entire life that people are inherently good, that if you give them coaching and time they will show you that they too do not want to stay under their rocks.

I was protected. My family built a cocoon around me that kept out all of the negative energy, people's opinions, and encouraged me and my siblings to be accepting people who always took the time to help others who might be less fortunate.

I do not know why, but this year I have begun to see people's realities. I have realized that people can be racist, and hold things against other people simply because of the color of their skin. I have realized that people believe that I should be less than them, simply because they do not agree with who I choose to love. I have realized that people believe that those who are differently able should not be treated equally, that they are below the standard of the "norm". I have realized that no matter what a person might have to offer, something simple can change a person's perception of them.

Although I still believe that people are inherently good, I have started to realize that they can also do very bad things.

And that makes me disheartened.

At times like this, I have to remind myself of how thankful I should be that my inner circle consists of people who are intelligent, caring, and are more than the conventional idea of "goodness". I am thankful that no matter what the outside world thinks, those who I am closest to accept that there is a common right to humanity that all of us share. I am thankful that I can spend my time with people who know that service to others is the only way that we can pay our debt to humanity. I am thankful that I surround myself with people who will fight for someone, even if they do not know their name.

And I hope that one day, others will set aside their ideas of what is right and wrong, and realize that in the core of every single person there is a common soul that connects us all.

My eternal hope is that one day, we will all build up...

and stop breaking down.

Lame

Hello Blogger Bandits!

I spent the day studying at Borders. When I returned to my car, I found a note stuck under my windshield wipers. It read, and I quote:

"Your car sucks!

Obama sucks!

Illinois sucks!

Go to fucking hell Asshole!"

People are so stupid sometimes. Next time I see a W sticker, or a McCain/Palin sticker, you better believe I am going to have some choice words to say...

Or not. Because I have a life.

A Life Well Lived

Hello Blogger Bandits,

Today, we said goodbye to our dear friend Jeanne White. What struck me most about the entire service was that there were hundreds of people there to celebrate a life well lived.

And this presented me with a challenge...are we all doing that?

The overwhelming impression that Jeanne gave to everyone that she interacted with was that she loved life and she was going to do whatever she could to make the most of it. She tried new things. She fought for what she believed in. She took the time to listen to anyone and everyone who needed her. She loved her family. She loved strangers. She loved her job. She took every single moment to live life well. And it rubbed off on everyone she worked with, everyone she touched.

Do we live our lives well during each and every moment? I know there are several times throughout my life where I have allowed myself to get bogged down by the little things, and I have forgotten to live my life well. But there is an important lesson in such unexpected death, and that is that we never know when we will no longer have the opportunity to live our lives well. Whether that time is predetermined or an act of nature, it is there for each and every one of us. And since we do not have a crystal ball to predict when that time will come, we have to be aware of living each and every moment well - because we never know when it may be our last.

I want what Jeanne had. I want people to come together for me, at the end of my life, and I want them to say "The one thing that Joe Morgan did was that he lived his life well. He may have screwed up along the way, but he lived his life well."

Nothing more, nothing less.

Sad, Sad Day

Hello Blogger Bandits,

Amidst the joy of beginning a brand new year, terrible sadness has overcome members of my high school community. Our lead counselor passed away yesterday due to surgical complications, and the leadership of my school has a large gaping hole in it. This counselor was one of the most amazing women that I have ever met. She was knowledgeable, kind-hearted, strong willed, caring, and funny beyond belief. I do not know how many times she helped me through a situation I was having, counseled me about the best possible path to take, and encouraged me to continue to strive onward even if it might seem difficult. She knew more about the processes of the school district than anyone I have ever talked to. She taught me that, in order to get what you really want and what kids really need, you have to pick and choose your battles - that way, when you complain, they know you are for real.

The most important lesson she taught me involved not being so apologetic. One day, I did something that was wrong. She came into my office and asked me why I had taken the steps that I did, and then told me not to do them again. I cannot even remember what it was, but I do remember being so upset because I wanted so much to please her out of respect. I sent her an e-mail apologizing, and telling her that I would make sure it wouldn't happen again. She came over to my office after reading the e-mail and said to me, "Joe, it's alright! People make mistakes. You just need to learn from them and change it the next time. But stop worrying so much." And she was right; she has once again taught me that life is too short to spend worrying about what you have not done right, or what you should have done differently. You have to go through life, make mistakes, learn from the, and keep going.

I am sad that I did not get to say a proper goodbye to her. I am sad that future generations of students will not have the opportunity to learn from her. I am sad that her family has lost an integral figure in their lives. I am sad that I have lost a dear friend. I am sad that she did not get to see 2009, because I know she would have been excited.

I am sad that the world has lost one of the good guys.

You CAN go home again...

Hello Blogger Bandits (hahaha, I have to come up with something different).

It has been a while since I posted, and now that I am here in Joy, Illinois, I have nothing but time on my hands! So I thought, why not give Blogspot a visit?

As I stepped off of the plane in Peoria, Illinois yesterday, I realized something. Coming home after a while not only allows you to appreciate your childhood home, but also to appreciate the new home that you have made. I love coming back to Illinois, visiting my family, sleeping in my old room, talking with old friends, and visiting old haunts. I love the feeling of winter. I love seeing my dog (who is getting far too old for my liking). I love going to the mall that I shopped at for my entire teenage life. I love being in the central time zone. I love seeing my nephews. I love having a little bit of time to just live the laidback lifestyle that comes with growing up in a farm community. I love having my mom downstairs, who still calls me every ten minutes while she is at work just to make sure that I am okay (some things will never, ever change).

On the flip side, it makes me appreciate Las Vegas all the more as well. I love that it never gets below zero in the LV (thank God...although recent weather patterns in Nevada have made me question that assumption). I love that if I get hungry (or bored) at 1 AM, there is somewhere to go and something to do. I love the friends and family that I have built in the LV. I love being busy at work. I love having Fred nearby (who does not call me every ten minutes to make sure I am okay :)). I love my house, and my big bed. I love my DirecTV. I love having my car right outside, waiting for me. I love the casinoes (even though they drive me crazy sometimes). I love studying at UNLV. I love reading a good book at the Borders up the street.

I guess that the rest of life is that contradictory paradigm - loving the home that you had, and loving the home that you have. Both have their charms, and both have their pleasures. I used to think that you had to pick one or the other. Two years ago, I would never say that the LV was my home. I would always say I was from Illinois, but that I was living in the LV for a little while. I felt like it was a betrayal to the love of my childhood home to say that I loved my new adult home. But I am slowly starting to realize there is enough love for both of them.

So, by way of Joy (and Chicago), Illinois, I can proudly say I am a resident of the LV. I will enjoy my time here, and I will also enjoy going back.

I will have them both.

Happy Christmas season everyone!

Published Author

Hidey Ho Xanga Rangers!

Oh wait, this is Blogspot...

I will have to come up with something witty.

Life has been crazy busy these last couple of weeks. I work all day, and then I turn around and go to school for three nights out of the week. The other four nights, I feel like I have to study to get ready for school and work the next day. But within all the chaos has come some beacons of hope and happiness...

I am going to be a published author!

I found out last Sunday that my article was accepted for publication, pending some minor changes. I simply have to fix some of the grammatical things that were wrong with my manuscript, edit some stuff out, and I am good to go.

So, it all pays off at some point, right?

Why Can't They Make Research Exciting?

I have spent most of today reading my new text on Single-Subject Design, and have found myself extremely bored with the text. The first chapter is all about how the research base of psychology has changed from being a study of individual differences to an area that thrives on the ability to find the average distribution of different human characteristics, back to a study of individual differences. It actually is an interesting topic, but the author of the book is so dry that I really couldn't concentrate. Everything else at Panera was more entertaining than reading that book. Watching people refill their drinks. Monitoring the crazy lady with the Mickey Mouse ears and the bear glove on her hand trying to encourage people to register to vote. Watching people eat. Anything was more interesting!

Which led me to wonder...why do topics surrounding research have to be so boring? Research really is exciting - it is the development of new knowledge, the acceptance or refutation of certain theories and principles. The implications of the results of certain research studies have resounding impacts on our daily lives. But whenever I pick up a research text, or read a research article, I am often bored to tears.

My goal, as I continue on my path towards being an academic, is to write with a tone that makes people enjoy what they are reading! One of academia's biggest complaints about educators is that they don't take the time to read the research that is being developed. However, teachers already don't have enough time to read research - why do we make it even harder for them by writing things that are of little to no interest?

I want to make knowledge exciting. Hopefully I can figure it out.